Waukesha – Notes from Fetishes – Sun, Feb 24th

WAUKESHA, Wisc. – Thank you to everyone who came out to the Waukesha discussion on “Fetishes” on Sunday, February 24th!  Thank you for everyone who brought a treat to share!

Please find below a summary of our discussion.  The personal stories that people share are really what makes the meetings worth coming to.  It feels so good to find out that you aren’t the only one that feels that way (whatever way you feel).  I will not recount the personal stories here. If you want to share your experiences, please feel free to do so.  If I missed some key points of the discussion or you want to add some additional thoughts, please feel free to do so as well.

What is a Fetish?

  • Sacred object with power.
  • Necessary for sexual gratification (without it, “things” don’t work as well).
  • On FetLife, it means your likes, kinks, or interests.
  • It’s core to your being.
  • Possibly imprinted on you early.
  • Kink = Interest, Fetish = Necessity

What does it mean when someone says “I have a fetish.”?

  • Does it mean something different “I like to give foot massages.” vs. “I have a foot fetish.”?
  • Is s/he interested in me or interested in getting her/his fetish needs met?
  • If you are all about your fetish instead of getting to know people for people, are you turning others off?
  • Be about the relationship to meet people, to gain respect, and secondary, talk about your fetishes.

Can you get your needs met without:

  • Trust
  • Acceptance
  • Communication

When sharing your fetish, there’s a risk.  You’re vulnerable and opening up.

If you have a fetish, you can be put into a box, limited, and the other parts of you aren’t considered.

Fetish is close to a personal identity.  If you criticize the person’s fetish, you are criticizing the person.

Our next Madison meeting is March 8th at 7:30pm – Sexuality – How do you define your sexuality? If you considered yourself straight and then you had your first same-sex experience, how did you process it?

Our next Waukesha meeting is March 24th, at 6:30pm – Discounting Dominance/submission – If there’s no struggle or bending of the will or power exchange, are you dominating/submitting? If you’re perfectly submissive, it’s not a struggle, will there be discipline? Can you be a Dominant if you’re not forcing someone to submit?