Under Your Feet – Asking to say I love you

Three words, eight letters, infinite meanings.  How did something so small become so powerful and big?  Or perhaps, it was never really small at all. Perhaps it was always our own personal slave Bitsy, it’s name concealing it’s true form.  We could spend our entire life questioning love and it’s surrounding details but today my focus is different. While many utter the words several times a day without a second thought, I need permission for those three little words.

 

Bootblack Bella is International Ms. Bootblack 2013. She enjoys serving as a mentor and educator. She lives in Louisville, Ky., and her column runs monthly.

Bootblack Bella is International Ms. Bootblack 2013. She enjoys serving as a mentor and educator. She lives in Louisville, Ky., and her column runs monthly.

My partner doesn’t say I love you with his words. In nearly four (4) years together, I’ve heard it once;but I feel it always.  I feel it in his before bedtime snuggles, in the smile that crosses his lips when I’ve said something silly, or in the kiss on my forehead when I have a headache.  I, on the other hand, frequently said I love you.  

The downside to saying I love you often is that sometimes, the words lose their meaning.  It’s not that you love the person less, but the phrase no longer carries the same weight.  I like for that particular phrase to have a bit of heft to it, so I began to ask for permission when I truly felt I needed to say it.  In 5 months, I’ve asked twice, but both times have touched him more than all of the other times I’ve said the words.

I know that our choices are not for everyone.  Journeys in life are meant to be individual and will very rarely follow the same paths.  But I challenge you to think outside of the box when it comes to your relationships.  As the poet Robert Frost so cleverly reminds us, “I took the path less traveled by and that has made all the difference.”