SWIPE-Madison; Notes from Protocols, April 12

MADISON, Wisc. – Thank you to everyone for coming out to the Madison discussion on “Protocols” on Friday, April 12th!

We had a great discussion.  A lot of it was personal stories that people shared.  Those stories are really what make the meetings worth coming to along with the laughter and camaraderie!

If I missed some key points of the discussion or you want to add some additional thoughts, please feel free to do so as well.

Here is the link to the Waukesha Protocols discussion

From our Books and Articles sticky note:  Protocol and Etiquette Library

What does Protocol mean to you?

  • Rules
  • Guidelines
  • Expectations
  • Code of etiquette/conduct
  • Rituals

How did you develop your Protocols?

  • Developed out of necessity
  • Read books
  • Researched online
  • Observed others
  • Developed out of habit
  • Based from one’s culture (Southern/East Coast/Midwestern/West Coast/European)

When can you use Protocols?

  • In a scene
  • With different play partners
  • Depends on the relationship dynamic (not living together)
  • Depends on the 24/7 relationship dynamic (living together)
  • At work
  • In the community
  • At a play party
  • For yourself (unpartnered or when your partner is not with you)

When is it advantageous to do High Protocol?

  • In private (create a special time)
  • At an event
  • When someone is new and see how they handle it or if the relationship will work
  • At a play party

What do you get out of using Protocols?

  • I like the structure.
  • Knowing how to behave and what the expectations are.
  • It’s how I connect with my partner.
  • Makes me feel safe, grounded, and in balance.
  • Keeps in focus.
  • Fun.
  • A ritual of love, how I show my love and intimacy.

If you don’t know the protocols of others or play party or event, just ask.

Our next Waukesha meeting is April 28th, at 6:30pm – BDSM & Family –  How do you balance BDSM and family life/vanilla world?  What if family members find out you’re kinky?  What if you find out your family members are kinky?  How would you handle it?

Our next Madison meeting is May 10th, at 7:30pm – Doubt – Are Y/you really submissive/Dominant? Have Y/you ever doubted on which side of the paddle Y/you need to be? How did Y/you get passed the questioning and doubt? What if Y/your partner came to you questioning their position in the relationship, what would Y/you do or say? How would Y/you help them?