My Weekend – Santa-Homo, Panty Claus, Elf Devon and Gypsy Pony, Oh, My!

It seems like the weekend is taking nearly as long to tell about as it took to live through it, doesn’t it?

So what happened next?

When last we saw our hero, she had just presented Leather and been presented her own pin.

I should mention, or perhaps I shouldn’t, that I actually spent the entire event in a pair of white Scottie slippers.  Fuzzy ones.

I also wore my Santa hat the entire time I presented Leather.

Along with the Scottie slippers.

It’s a really NICE Santa hat, if that makes a difference.

Anyway, once that was over, the event proper was kicked off.

And how did we do that, you might ask?

Let me set the scene.

The supporting players are Elf Devon and Panty Claus.

Elf Devon is an adorable boy, who was dressed in an elf’s vest, hat and ass-less undies.  His prop is a giant candy cane, the kind one would normally place in the ground outside along one’s pathway.

Panty Claus is one of the board members of Fringe Elements, Caile, who was wearing a cute little Santa-ish outfit, red and white with a hat, and a short skirt.

Her panties said HoHoHo, but I believe that was a comment on the holiday season rather than any kind of untoward description of her proclivities.

And you’d know what her panties said, too, if you’d looked on Fetlife.

I want you also to imagine a large man, a bear, a man who is nearly the SIZE of a bear to begin with.  He’s also sweet as a bear’s honey, but that’s beside the point.

Now, imagine this man, bigger than life as he is, in a leather jockstrap sort of thing, suspenders, boots, a red fuzzy cape and a white curly wig.

He had also chosen the politically incorrect title of Homo-Claus for himself.


The final element in the fringe-y mix is Gypsy, who is one of our local furries, who is the owner and usual inhabitant of a human-size pony costume.  Add to that costume reindeer antlers and some other fetching Christmas additions.

Apparently, I announced the opening before we were quite ready, requiring some improvisation.

The improvisation began with Elf Devon chasing Panty Claus around the dungeon, while the audience, myself included, ROARED.

It was hysterically funny.

Both of them had a certain manic quality to the scampering about, running around equipment, having to hang on to their hats in a literal sense,

We had fashioned Santa’s “sleigh” out of a rather impractical piece of dungeon furniture, a small spanking bench that is on wheels and moves pretty easily.

Imagine said LARGE man sitting on said smallish spanking bench, being pulled by said Gypsy pony.

Now this probably is working better in your imagination than it did at first in reality because, for reasons which I have yet to ascertain, no one thought that perhaps the large man should wait to board the small sleigh until AFTER the sleigh had negotiated the 90 degree turn in the hallway.

Really, it was also pretty funny to watch it, were you not supposed to be making this all work, to see the pony struggling to pull the sleigh which was fairly well-loaded, down a narrow passage.

What finally happened was that Ms Tammy dashed down the hallway and gave a giant PUSH to the sleigh, thus freeing it.

And then, what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

Ok, a semi-miniature sleigh with a full-sized Santa, and one not-that-tiny reindeer because, let’s not forget, the “reindeer” was pulling the full-size Santa and Christmas miracles only go SO far.

It was, I swear, incredibly funny, as well you can imagine.

The rest of the evening was filled with conversation and laughter and screams – none that I personally caused, to clarify – and a generally good time had by all.  There were old friends there, and new ones, folks from near and far.

Photos were taken, toys and corsets were sold, sweets were bought and people were beaten.  Paddles were procured, ornaments were owned and and auction items were auctioned.

Finally, it got to be late, as it usually does.

At around 12:30am we drew for our two raffles, which were won by the same person, but that person had bought the most tickets for one, and earned the most for the other by buying a significant amount of merchandise from the vendors, so there’s nothing wrong with that.

We also closed down our silent auctions and collected for them.  We had passes for events donated, and some other items.  A few we’ll put up for the next event.

We end our parties at 2am, so about 1:30am the vendors started packing up, and we started tidying.  Some people stayed over for the Louisville Munch the next night, and the other festivities, some went back,

I walked back to my car, through the parking lot still in my fuzzy slippers.  I think it was 2:30am or so by then, maybe later.  I know that I grabbed something to eat on the way home – I’d eaten little other than a fast food burger about 5:00pm and was STARVING.

I got home, let dogs out, ate my tacos – what else is open at 3am, after all? – and when I finally got to bed it was so close to 4am as not to make much difference at all.

I slept in a bit in the morning, intending to assist in the 11am cleanup at the space, until I woke up screaming with a leg cramp.  I mentioned that before, I know.

Boy, did that suck!

And not in a good way at all.

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