This past year I have experienced a lot of things in my so called “Leather Life.” It feels sometimes like I am having a bizarre trip to Six Flags and riding every damn roller coaster or thrill ride until I either have massive orgasms or submit and puke. Either way, it has deepened my commitment to myself and my journey into Leather.
I hesitate to call it my Leather Life, because in reality…it is all just MY LIFE. Like leather I can be transformed into an amazing creation or be just scraps on the workroom floor. I consider this an education into a reality that I am only now gaining a means to communicate to others.
About a year ago, my playmate saw that I was in a transition. This was while I was still a reigning titleholder. I have been a presenter, performer, and educator for many years, but my immersion into Leather as a titleholder was a key in me learning and absorbing even more about the community I represented.
What it didn’t do was pay my bills and make me relatively happy. Ok, when I was playing [sometimes with the sash] I had massive orgasms or much joy. But I didn’t really have much of a direction. I reveled in the travelling to events, to competition with IMsL, and the meeting and being with my Leather Family. I added to my house, I added to my passion for sharing knowledge of expressing sexuality and love.
What surprised me was just how much I didn’t know about Leather and Community. But I did realize that I knew something about being human.
So my playmate said, “I know you are struggling. I want to help, so come work for me and I will teach you my craft.” I thought, well it will be interesting and my background in both the community as well as my crafting and theatrical training will probably come in handy.
I believe that this was what I needed now to understand the inner workings of Leather and my lifestyle. I am grateful. I found new members for my Family. I have found that my crafting and experience in Ren Faire work making armor and costumes has benefited both me, my now Obi Wan, and my new work family.
My “old me” that I gave up to be involved in kink and the new me that is evolving are showing me my passion. I have found that to create leather for Leather builds a new foundation.
Many moons ago I went to college for Theatrical Design. I spent nearly thirty years learning to make costumes for Medieval and Renaissance Faire type cosplay. I have worked with leather to make armor. I have made courboli and scale. I just never knew that harnesses and armor, and doublets had other purposes besides costume.
When I outed myself with kink almost a decade ago, I lost the ability to craft and create due to M/s. That passion for design and making was still there but rules were that I couldn’t do handiwork because I would have to put it down in order to get my sir a drink or something. Plus, the Theatre and Ren Faire outlet was gone. Eventually I created latex wear [still do FYI] and used my technical design skills in a new way. I had plenty of people liking the outfits I wore. I became a kinky doll. I even considered myself a Leather Doll and described myself that way during my contest experience. I don’t regret my past kink experiences, this was just a beginning of my journey.
But like the clothes, my Leather only remained on the surface. Now that I have the means to work with leather every day and create. I realize that I am serving the Leather Community in a way that is far more sincere and visceral than as my Leather Doll notion.
I walk into work and smell leather, glue, Family, and yes—sex. My sewing machine table vibrates when I run the straps through that will eventually become a harness or an armbinder or corset. I physically have sat there and had orgasms. I walk into the basement storeroom and just breathe in the essence of Leather.
Yes, I also have minor dramas. It is both Family and Work. But seriously, it is because of the passion. I love my craft. I chafe at the bit sometimes because I am still an Apprentice to the Leathercraft. But the joy I feel when I create and when my personal issues are hashed out between family and craft, it is bliss. Both physically and mentally this is where Life and Art mate and beauty comes from the union.
Leather is the fabric that binds me to my sense of self, my community, my soul. I see the good and bad of humanity. And it doesn’t matter. The highs and lows pale because it is all about ME and Leather. And yes there have been some orgasmic interludes that are personal moments. [In the bathroom, on the perch, in the workroom—I can’t help myself sometimes.] It’s LEATHER and SEX and most of all LOVE.
I have been able to blend and transform Leather and express my LIFE. I am very grateful for this insight, the passion felt, and opportunity to express it. This is today’s “Leather Life Lesson.”