Gay Open Poly Bear Quad: After a long hiatus

After a long Hiatus, I am back to writing. To make a long story short, the least few months have turned my life upside down inside out and around the corner. Through a series of finally Marrying the bear, break ups, make ups, and untold stress – I bought my own home. The 4 of us are “mostly” moved in as of now. This will be a whole new set of adventures, and I’m sure it will give me a lot to write about.

Gay Open Poly Bear QuadBack to what led us to this point. On July 2, The Bear and I got legally married. The cub performed the ceremony. Was nothing big, mostly just signing papers. A month or so later, the boy decided he needed to live on his own for a bit, to grow up as he had essentially gone from relying on his parents to relying on us without ever really having to fend for himself.

It wasn’t a break up, he just needed to learn to do for himself. He also ended up having a crush on a mostly straight bi guy, who he started hanging out with quite a bit. It wasn’t dating, as the bi guy said he doesn’t date guys – guys are for fun, and girls are for relationships. I think many of us have known that guy, or some variation. Anyway, the combination of the move out and his crush, caused some strain, most especially between the bear and the boy, and the bear reacted with possessiveness and obsessiveness.

After some events that I know about only through secondhand knowledge, the boy broke up with us, but still wanted to be “family”. Red flag, right? I was prepared to cut all ties, then to win him back, then to cut all ties, etc. etc. and yet through all of this we were all still having sex with him. I became the crazy one, and after a few weeks of it, the Bear moved out, and into the same apartment with the boy. In his own bedroom, as the boy would not put up with any of the trappings of a relationship, outside of sex.

I freaked out even worse, for a while. I had to win my boys back, and after a bit of therapy, the realization that our living situation wasn’t a great one for the 4 of us as a whole, and a lot of work and a bit of home shopping, we’re in a home of our own, with a lot more room, and it’s just the 4 of us (and our [my] small zoo).

The Journey of these past few months has definitely been one of the more emotionally intense I’ve been through, at least since coming out. It is the reason for my new user picture, of me in front of my front door, and it has given me a lot to think about, and therefore write about in the near future.

Mike is a 40 something bear in the great Metropolis of Fort Wayne, IN. He lives with his 3 partners and works in the retail home improvement industry. He has been active in the gay community in Fort Wayne and online for 20+ years, having volunteered for a gay/lesbian helpline, been involved in multiple LGBT community groups, and worked as a DJ in multiple gay clubs. His Gay Open Poly Bear quad blog can be seen at