Gay Open Poly Bear Quad: My boring family life

Very nearly a month ago, after writing my dividing housework column I asked a question in a poly related facebook  group of which I am a member. “If you were to read a ‘monthly lifestyle column’ about a poly family, what kinds of topics would you be interested in reading?” I got one reply and I was grateful for at least that, but the reply left me slightly disillusioned. Many of his suggested topics absolutely do not apply to my family. He mentioned things like “pet custody battles”, “messy breakups”, and “people looking for Triple or Quadruple Income, No Kids.”

WGay Open Poly Bear Quadhile the messy breakup could have very easily applied to us last fall and winter it didn’t. We made it through our issues and are one big happy pseudo dysfunctional gay family.  About the only things he mentioned that he would want to read about is “settled poly people” because I guess that’s what we are. Settled. Mostly boring. I’m honestly finding it difficult to find topics about us that anyone might find interesting.  When I began this column I thought I would have more to say, insightful things, poignant things, maybe even raunchy things but it seems life is boring, even to me.  I get up, go to work, come home, either do house work or avoid it, possibly work a little bit on one of the projects I’ve been doing to try to make this house feel more like a home and less like somewhere I just come to when I’m not working, and go to bed. Rinse and repeat. Weekends are for catching up on the housework I’ve avoided, the aforementioned projects, and grocery shopping.  None of us really have a social life(* edit – the boy says he has a vibrant social life) to speak of outside of the family.  I suppose this is what adulthood feels like for most people.

I’ve enjoyed writing the column when there is something to write about, but how interesting is a family with no drama, no real excitement, and not much in the way of anything new happening on a monthly basis? This is what people fear and loathe? More than 2 people getting up for work in the same house and sleeping in the same bed? I’ve thought about making this a Poly Q&A, but I’ve received exactly 1 piece of feedback on the column combing pre and post hiatus. Have you considered trying Poly? Is there anything you want to know about how our poly family functions?

Mike is a 40 something bear in the great Metropolis of Fort Wayne, IN. He lives with his 3 partners and works in the retail home improvement industry. He has been active in the gay community in Fort Wayne and online for 20+ years, having volunteered for a gay/lesbian helpline, been involved in multiple LGBT community groups, and worked as a DJ in multiple gay clubs. His Gay Open Poly Bear quad blog can be seen at