BOE presents: No: Saying the Hard Thing and Hearing the Hard Thing, Oct. 4

DETROIT — This is an interactive workshop class all about the word NO. Without being able to use the word, “no,” it becomes impossible to negotiate authentically for play, negotiate within relationships and to enforce your personal boundaries to protect your sense of self. Those of you who know vegasaurus_rex are probably not surprised to hear that her very first word as a wee baby was, “No!” But that doesn’t mean it’s easy for her ­­ it just means she’s had more practice.

This class is meant to have very limited lecture at the top of the class. We will discuss good and bad ways to soften “No,” process some of the pain and rejection that can come from hearing it and brainstorm solutions for those folks who just don’t seem to hear “No,” no matter how many times you say it. However, emphasis of the class will be creating a safe space to practice saying and hearing no from each other. I’ll be pairing folks up and changing the pairings throughout the class. Hopefully, everyone will gain some experience in saying no to the type of person that most intimidates them in a safe and non­judgmental space. We will have some practice with saying no in silly and non-threatening situations and build up to the more heartfelt situations that can require a “No.” Participation is never required but always appreciated. We’ll end with a large-group discussion about the experience.

vegasaurus_rex is the 2015 Michigan Community Bootblack and is a founder and co-host of the Detroit Area Bootblacks’ Laboratory (DABBL). She is active in the Michigan Band of Brothers, a co-ed titleholder support organization and the Board of Education, a kinky, pansexual educational organization in metro Detroit. She is a member of their Board of Directors and was the 2015-2016 Education Chair. She is a co-hostess of Fevered Nights, an enticingly sensual monthly play and sex party that is only serious about not being serious.

She is a radical sexual outlaw with a disdain for hierarchy who could be best described as a contrarian leather anarchist. She is a body positive polyamorous feminist. She is also a fuzzy femme piglet who demands authentic and intimate relationships that involve degradation, objectification and lots of pain, done with love and affection.

Please RSVP on our event page here!

When arriving at the Best Western Greenfield Inn, please enter through to door with the green awning. Class begins at 7:30pm in The Packard Room and will run until 9:30pm. Please be punctual, as there will be no admittance to class after 8:00pm.

Can’t make it this week?

See our Calendar of Events for upcoming classes and parties.